EDSS 531

Journal Entry #1

Reflecting back on my CP I, I have often found myself asking the question, "What was it like to be one of my students?" The first thing that comes to mind is confusion. There were a couple of times where I had implemented directions that I though were succinct and easy to follow. However, I releasing the students I was often bombarded with clarification questions. By the time my next period arrived, I had adjusted these areas of confusion and created directions that were much more succinct and made my expectations very clear. But I always felt bad for my first period, I always felt like they were the guinea pigs. At first, I was very scared to receive their feedback knowing that this period often received my imperfect lessons while the other class got the updated and improved version. Many of the students actually responded positively and enjoyed the assignments but consistently needed me to be more precise and explicit with my directions. But what about everything else? So I was a little confusing, but I would fix it by the next class period, but what was it like to be a student in my classroom? How was I perceived? Had I been fair? A typical student in my classroom has to think and has to work for their grade. Everything my student's wrote I held to a high standard, but I gave them many opportunities to practice writing and ask clarification questions. If students had any questions on the grade they received on an assignment they did not hesitate and approached me with their question. I had one student who was upset with the grade he had received on the research paper assignment and after going through each piece of the paper and rationalizing the reason for the grade, he completely understood and acknowledged the ways he would and could improved next time. I had another student who was upset about her Socratic Seminar grade and felt that she should have received a higher grade. After asking her why I should increase her grade, she provided concrete examples, textual evidence, and the insightful input she had added to the conversation. After reviewing my own notes, I agreed that I had graded her unfairly and I decided to increase her grade to a "B." I really valued my student's ability to approach me and discuss their concerns with me. There were many times where I would put a Quickwrite prompt on the board and it would be accompanied by groans of, "Oh man, more writing." However, after unveiling the prompt the students would respond with, "Alright, alright, I can dig this writing thing." My presence in the classroom is one of a mentor not a dictator. The student's knew since day one that I was there to help them and, the best part, I wanted to help them.  With every assignment the student's always put forth their best effort. Whether it was a Quickwrite or a research paper, the pieces of works these student's would produce was absolutely astounding. They clearly wanted to succeed in this course and I think they really wanted me to know who each of them were.

 I had one student ask me, "Miss Swag, why are you always smiling? And why are you always asking how we're doing?" This baffled me. But after talking with my students about their typical school day, it made sense. Many of the students shuffle from period to period and some of their teachers never ask them how their doing. I had one student keep tally marks for how often their teachers smiled at them in a typical day. I was handed back a blank piece of paper. I had no idea that smiling and asking students how they were doing would make such a difference. I think one phrase that my student's would use in reference to me would be "she remembers." I never forget if a student was having a bad day or if they said something interesting in class. I have gone up to students the next day asking how they were doing. I have gone up to student's the next day apologizing for not being able to get to their point and complementing them on the input in class. I have also administered detentions in which student's thought I would forget to collect them. Little did they know, I completely remembered. I also think that many of my student's would unanimously describe me as helpful. I helped a range of students with a range of problems. From the valedictorian wanting my advice on his letter to Stanford to a student thinking about dropping out because he felt dumb and didn't think he could write. I am here for the student's not for anyone else. Not for the money, not for the title. I like my students and I enjoy seeing them succeed. I had one girl describe me as her cheerleader on the sidelines. She was really funny. She then added, "Well Miss S., actually, you would be the offensive line chasing after me making sure I reach that touchdown."

Journal Entry #2

Quote from the text/video	What it means	Deeper Thinking
"Education is something that runs deep in people like religion or money."	Everyone has different educational experiences and backgrounds and a person can never fully understand how it has effected that person's views, opinions, and experiences in the world.	Because of the hesitation and angst people feel towards their own educational experiences there may be a lot of hesitation or distrust towards individuals in education. As a new teacher, I should also be aware of the hesitation many would feel in trusting their education to me knowing their parent's experiences or their previous experiences.
"Creativity is as important in education as literacy and we should treat it with the same status."	Getting the grade is no longer good enough. The material doesn't change but the way people learn the material is continually changing and must be adapted and presented in a unique, creative way.	Everything I teach should test my student's knowledge in a creative inventive way. However, the current education system cannot test for creativity so would it still be equitable to hold students to this creative standard? The answer is yes.
"Education came into being to meet the needs of industrialism. The heirarchy is reached on two ideas. Number one, the most useful subjects are at the top. You were probably steered benignly away from the topics you liked....Now, profoundly mistaken."	Education was created for the masses to reach an equal level of education. But in order to do so, their knowledge and skills had to be tested. The tests decreased the value of creativity because there is no True/False bubble for creativity or how an individual internalizes Hamlet's famous speech. Students were continuously steered away from "artsy" or creative projects stating that there were no careers in the future for those types of subjects.	Humanity is begining to realize that our very creativity is what furthers our intelligence and education improving the future. Our greatest assets are our brains and our ability to create and use tools. However, as we have witnessed with technology and the varying uses of the internet, tools are continually changing. It takes a very unique creative individual to look at a tool, like a hammer for instance, and think, "how can I make this better? How can I improve the design?" As a teacher, I have to continually ask myself, "how can I make this material unique? How can I use my own creativity to make the material new and adaptable? How can I make this interesting?"
"Academic ability has dominated our view of intelligence."	If your knowledge cannot be tested, catalogued, graded, and written in a five paragraph essay , then what is the purpose of that specific academic ability?	Intelligence is adaptability. It doesn't mean anything unless you can apply what you have learned or place this puzzle piece of learning into the bigger puzzle. Atoms are great, but it doesn't mean anything unless you realize that the computer you are typing on is comprised of atoms or that your hands pounding on the keys are made up of atoms. It's like fractals which are just complex mathematical formulas. The same formulaic equation seen in nature. Everything we learn is spawned from something else. We have to be able to see our knowledge in the scheme of the world and in doing so we see and find our place in this world.

Journal Entry #3

I really enjoyed this question because it brings so many aspects to mind. When someone says, "I need you to do this," or, "You don't understand, I need this," what do they really mean? A need is a necessity that arises from a variety of circumstances. Or, a lack of something wanted. Or, an urgent want or desire. Even the definition of the word "need" has a variety of insinuations. When asked the question, "To what degree do you think you really understand the needs of your student and what they need for the 21st century?" I can only give one answer based on my own personal experience. Students in the 21st century need an amazing teacher. Being an amazing teacher takes far more effort and personal drive than I could have ever imagined. I can meet the needs of some students by using differentiation strategies and good creative lesson plans. A good comprehension of technology is also highly beneficial but not necessarily vital. However, the increased use of technology has definitely helped my students by providing additional support services and resources including making homework and handouts available online. I have done all of these things, but I don't feel that in the 21st century the gap between the needs of the teachers and their students is technology, or differentiation strategies, or an awesome lesson plan. What the students of the 21st century really need is someone to believe in them. They need hope. Hope for the future. Hope for their education. Hope that they will be able to succeed and aspire to their own goals. Many of my students felt inferior to some of their peers. Why? Because they didn't score the highest on the SAT's? Because they didn't win the CIF championships? Because they had never gotten an A on an English paper? I must make sure to clarify that not all students feel this way. There have been and always will be the individuals that will strive to reach their goals regardless of the support they have or lack. These individuals are what I call Supernovas. An explosion of energy that is unstoppable. But what about the majority? What about the kid that comes in every day and sits in the same old desk but never says one word? How many teachers acknowledge that student? I did. I made sure to. Especially because those shy, quite, socially awkward students, are some of my favorite people.

I think there is a division between the teacher and student because of our roles as educators in the classroom. Teachers are perceived as being the all knowing being that holds the student's precious grades in their clutches. There is a distance established between the teacher and the student. The best way to decrease the gap is to get to know your students. Getting to know your students solves so many gaps. If you show that you care and are invested in them because they are interesting people they will be more likely to complete assignments producing a higher quality of work and they will be more likely to seek out the teacher's assistance. In order to bridge the gap, I had one objective everyday: Teacher will be able to know and understand the needs of her students by engaging in discussions with individual students before and after class. If teacher is unable to speak with every student, teacher will create a scaffolding system within the classroom that establishes a supportive learning environment by creating a class website, making one-on-one conferences available, using Think-Pair-Share and reflective writing activities, and ensuring a low affective filter.

At first this gap between the students and I seemed huge. Initially, many of the students were hesitant to trust and respect me because I was a student teacher. I had not been with them during the beginning of the year and upon the announcement that I was a newbie teacher about to take full control, well, let's just say many student's faces turned deathly pale white. But, I had anticipated this reaction. I was confident in my abilities and knowledge of the subject matter but what I needed to learn was how to connect to the students. I didn't need them to like me, I needed them to respect me and trust that I had their best interest at heart every day, every time I stood up to give a lesson, and every time I crossed that threshold into the classroom. The only way to create this sense of trust was to establish an environment of consistency and assurance while not making it the “Miss Sadeghipour Show.” Thus, I made a promise to myself. Every day I would get to know one student. This was one goal that I set for myself. I had distributed questionnaires to each of the students to fill out and had read them so much that they now resembled crumbled pieces of cloth. I used my knowledge of their likes and dislikes to initiate conversations with many of the students. I had one student who had to come up with a team name and came up with the name "Mastodon." I had a huge grin on my face and asked him, "Do you mean the prehistoric beast or the band?"

He looked as if I had just spoken an alien language to him and eventually asked, "You know Mastodon?"

"March of the Fire Ants is one of my favorite songs." With that simple moment I had created a bond with that student. I had no idea. This student wore all black every day and usually looked down at his feet when he walked down the hall or spoke. But when he spoke to me, he looked me in the eyes. I even got some laughs out of him.

One day I had noticed him in the hall and he seemed really upset. I pulled him aside and he was hesitant to explain why he seemed upset. He then said, "I just don't get it. Why do so many people care about such mundane things? Why do people care about the Kardashians? Why do people care about the clothes they wear? Why do people care about such stupid things? I don't. Am I the weird one?" I couldn't help but burst into laughter. "Student X, I have to apologize. I'm really sorry, I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing because I can't believe you just said that. Do you have any idea how long it's been since someone has been so honest. Since someone has been so normal. It may not seem like it but you, the one with your eyes open, you are the normal one. You are the one that is supposed to be here. You are a puzzle piece that has the ability to look at the whole puzzle and realize where and how you fit. Who cares if everyone else thinks they need the newest pair of jeans or to be like the people on Jersey Shore. You are the brave one because you're willing to use your eyes. You are the normal one." Student X shrugged and merely responded with, "I guess."Perhaps my words had fallen on deaf ears. The semester carried on and the student made sure to say "Hello" to me every single day.

On my final day, I wrote them a speech. I presented my speech to both my classes. This is what it said:

I'm not very good with goodbyes. My original idea was to flash the peace sign and say, "Peace out foo's" as I walked out the door. But then I realized, oh yeah, I still have to give the final. So, I'm back to square one and I still don't know what to say. I guess I'll start with this.

The more I read your quick writes and overheard your discussions, the more I realized what fascinating, hilarious, intriguing adults you are. The amount of depth, perspective, and personal reflection each of you put into those really made me understand who each of you are. Each of you have helped solidify my chosen career path. Thank you. I don't think you will ever fully understand how excited I am that brilliant people like yourselves are going to be a part of society. Each in your own way.

Piece of advice? Don't let anyone cut your off, either in life or traffic. Always let someone you appreciate and care about know it over and over again. Don't be afraid to take smart chances. Most of the time, those once in a lifetime moments pass you by before you had the time to weigh the pro's and con's. As the brilliant Steve Jobs once said, "Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary." At the end of the day, the only person you have to live with for the rest of your life is yourself. Make yourself someone your proud of.

Final piece of advice, if you're planning on going to college, buy lots of Ramen noodles. College can be a starving experience. Thank you.

On the last day of school I was approached by Student X. "Miss Sadeghipour, thank you. I know I didn't ever say that but thank you. I didn't think I was going to make it through this year. But knowing that there are people like you out there, I know I can do it." I had no idea the suffering this student was going through and I definitely did not think that my words had that much of an impact. To this day I still see Student X volunteering at the adoption counter at Petsmart. He always grins and waves "Hello" asking me if I've listened to any metal recently.

Journal Entry #4

Covert racism is the worse. Like stated earlier, Neo Nazi's actions are easily identifiable. It's the tiny actions that perpetuate the ignorance and feelings of racism. If you saw a black man walking down the sidewalk would you cross the street? Would you clutch your purse a little tighter? If a car cuts you off do you dismiss the person's bad driving because they are of Asian descent? Think about it. Your true feelings are expressed in split second fleeting motions. If you heard someone talking Arabic or another Middle Eastern laniguage in the line at the grocery store, would you switch lanes? This, sadly, has happened to me before. I was standing in line with my father and he was speaking Farsi to me. Everyone in line grew uncomfortable and eventually switched lanes. The cashier grew silent, scanned our items through, and handed me the receipt, not my father who had paid. I looked the lady in the face and said, "Thank you for being so welcoming and friendly. I will not be returning to this establishment again." Living in Temecula was very difficult. Everyone thought I was Mexican and associated a variety of stereotypes with me. I have also been told that I do not have the credentials to talk about these types of topics because "You are just white." A college professor actually said that to me. Temecula, being a largely conservative community is covered is discriminatory signage, bumper stickers, and the like. There is a man that sits outside of the Temecula Post Office with a sign that depicts as picture of President Obama as Hitler. Everyone just drove by and an uncomfortable number of people honked in support. My boyfriend and I pulled over, got out of the car, and had a very very long dialogue with the man. I think the biggest bias I have is ignorance. It is difficult for me not to immediately jump on someone when they make ignorant or discriminatory comment. This is one of my biggest biases. I always think to myself, well, if I don't say something no one will. This is also a mentality I take into the classroom. I can't stand it when students used words like "fag" or "beaner." I immediately try to calm myself down, take a deep breath, and come at this ignorant comment from the perspective of an educator. If I don't tell you why it's wrong, it will just perpetuate. This is definitely a trigger of mine that I am very aware of and need to make sure that I always maintain a professional demeanor because most of the time, the students are repeating what they have heard in their own home.

I would love to know how you deal with these kinds of comments?

Journal Entry #5

After looking back at the journey I have made through the credential program I have learned a lot about myself, the teacher I am and wish to be, and also my students. I discovered that my students have a variety of needs that they require of me as their teacher. They need their teacher to be fair and clear when it comes to directions and assignments. They need their teacher to have consistent habits such as always writing the homework on the board or being reminded at the beginning of the period. The need that surprised me the most which surfaced over time was the need for the students to feel a sense of school involvement and community. This need didn't become visible to me until the end of my first semester of student teaching. This was understandable because I was very cautious not to tell my students a lot about myself because I was more interested in their personalities and perspectives. For this reason, students were hesitant at first. As I became more comfortable with my class more of my personality began to show. This rapport strengthened the communication between my students and they were eventually able to expose their true need.

My students needed to feel like a part of a school community where their hard work and creativity was valued by their teachers and their peers. This was very surprising to me because I had the benefit of attending a high school that had a strong sense of community between all of the students and the teachers. This sense of camaraderie has sadly faded away from my old high school. But I look back and wonder, where did it go? And, how did it get there in the first place? It was the teachers. The teachers had implemented this sense of community and value in their students' hard work and creative expression. It took me awhile to fully understand this need my students required but after walking around campus during lunch time one afternoon, it became abundantly clear. Where were all the other teachers? They were sitting in their rooms, many alone with no students. While some classrooms were blasting with music and overflowing with students. And, I must, of course, compliment the teacher's whose rooms are filled at lunch with amazing influential clubs like the GSA, Interact Club, and Habitat for Humanity. Of course, there are many more. The classrooms I just described clearly made the students feel comfortable and confident. After witnessing the different dynamic between these types of classrooms, I realized that the gap between my students and I was only as wide as I made it.

Students are very responsive and want to create a sense of community. They want to feel appreciated. They want to feel safe and comfortable in the classroom and around campus. The only way to create this is to open myself up to my students. Teachers really can lead by example. If I create a safe, friendly, accepting environment in my classroom and make myself visible and available to students, it's almost like opening a floodgate. I can become an adviser of a club, offer homework help, participate in community events, help cast the spring musical, the options are vast and numerous. The gap is only as wide as I make it. After reading “One Teacher's Story,” there was one thing that really triggered a negative response in me which was the excuse for the history textbooks being watered down,“It is easier not to know.” I would also like to add a commonly heard phrase, “It's not my responsibility, someone else will do it.” I have heard this time and time again. Really? I thought school was where Ignorance and Misunderstanding were exposed for the perpetrators they really are? What happened? When did this become the mentality? Had it always been the mentality and I was just too naive to notice? No, that was my own biased ignorant opinion, because there were always those teachers that took those statements and snapped them in their hands, bursting like fountains of generosity, responsibility, and enthusiasm for their profession. A passion that the students could feel. It's an impossible intensity to miss. Like watching actors on a stage, an equilibrium sharing their energy with the audience and vice versa. Students don't feel connected to their teacher or their school, students don't share that dynamic energy. As educator Wendy Zagray Warren best said,“I learned a long time ago about the correlation between students' academic success and whether or not they were able to see themselves in schools.” A student can't see themselves in a place they can connect to and students connect best to other human beings. I hope I am able to create an environment in which students feel comfortable, confident to speak their mind, and comfortable making mistakes. I hope that I can be an amazing educator because I have had the privilege of working with so many brilliant educators in my lifetime. I hope I can make a difference and allow my own ignorant triggers to subside allowing me to become the educator I aspire to be. And for the teachers that are already on the front lines, fighting the hard fight, I look forward to joining your ranks soon.