EDSS 531 Journal Entry #5

After looking back at the journey I have made through the credential program I have learned a lot about myself, the teacher I am and wish to be, and also my students. I discovered that my students have a variety of needs that they require of me as their teacher. They need their teacher to be fair and clear when it comes to directions and assignments. They need their teacher to have consistent habits such as always writing the homework on the board or being reminded at the beginning of the period. The need that surprised me the most which surfaced over time was the need for the students to feel a sense of school involvement and community. This need didn't become visible to me until the end of my first semester of student teaching. This was understandable because I was very cautious not to tell my students a lot about myself because I was more interested in their personalities and perspectives. For this reason, students were hesitant at first. As I became more comfortable with my class more of my personality began to show. This rapport strengthened the communication between my students and they were eventually able to expose their true need.

My students needed to feel like a part of a school community where their hard work and creativity was valued by their teachers and their peers. This was very surprising to me because I had the benefit of attending a high school that had a strong sense of community between all of the students and the teachers. This sense of camaraderie has sadly faded away from my old high school. But I look back and wonder, where did it go? And, how did it get there in the first place? It was the teachers. The teachers had implemented this sense of community and value in their students' hard work and creative expression. It took me awhile to fully understand this need my students required but after walking around campus during lunch time one afternoon, it became abundantly clear. Where were all the other teachers? They were sitting in their rooms, many alone with no students. While some classrooms were blasting with music and overflowing with students. And, I must, of course, compliment the teacher's whose rooms are filled at lunch with amazing influential clubs like the GSA, Interact Club, and Habitat for Humanity. Of course, there are many more. The classrooms I just described clearly made the students feel comfortable and confident. After witnessing the different dynamic between these types of classrooms, I realized that the gap between my students and I was only as wide as I made it.

Students are very responsive and want to create a sense of community. They want to feel appreciated. They want to feel safe and comfortable in the classroom and around campus. The only way to create this is to open myself up to my students. Teachers really can lead by example. If I create a safe, friendly, accepting environment in my classroom and make myself visible and available to students, it's almost like opening a floodgate. I can become an adviser of a club, offer homework help, participate in community events, help cast the spring musical, the options are vast and numerous. The gap is only as wide as I make it. After reading “One Teacher's Story,” there was one thing that really triggered a negative response in me which was the excuse for the history textbooks being watered down,“It is easier not to know.” I would also like to add a commonly heard phrase, “It's not my responsibility, someone else will do it.” I have heard this time and time again. Really? I thought school was where Ignorance and Misunderstanding were exposed for the perpetrators they really are? What happened? When did this become the mentality? Had it always been the mentality and I was just too naive to notice? No, that was my own biased ignorant opinion, because there were always those teachers that took those statements and snapped them in their hands, bursting like fountains of generosity, responsibility, and enthusiasm for their profession. A passion that the students could feel. It's an impossible intensity to miss. Like watching actors on a stage, an equilibrium sharing their energy with the audience and vice versa. Students don't feel connected to their teacher or their school, students don't share that dynamic energy. As educator Wendy Zagray Warren best said,“I learned a long time ago about the correlation between students' academic success and whether or not they were able to see themselves in schools.” A student can't see themselves in a place they can connect to and students connect best to other human beings. I hope I am able to create an environment in which students feel comfortable, confident to speak their mind, and comfortable making mistakes. I hope that I can be an amazing educator because I have had the privilege of working with so many brilliant educators in my lifetime. I hope I can make a difference and allow my own ignorant triggers to subside allowing me to become the educator I aspire to be. And for the teachers that are already on the front lines, fighting the hard fight, I look forward to joining your ranks soon.